Harnessing the Power of Humiliation

Humiliation is a powerful feeling. It’s a cousin to embarrassment but cuts much deeper. Embarrassment is something we bring upon ourselves that later we can joke about. Humiliation is brought upon by others. It’s a loss of dignity and pride. But an interesting thing can happen after one experience humiliation – we are now not afraid. Instead of fearing failure and its humiliating aftermath, we’ve experienced rock bottom and that liberates us to take risks and to be bold. We learn to lean more on ourselves than any group. And so shockingly what comes out of humiliation is confidence and courage. No one roots for their kids to experience humiliation, but it may just be the most transformative life experience of all.

How powerful was her humiliation for brandynette?

where do we even begin? i guess it all started after the divorce, where i felt like a loser & failed man for disappointing my, past then wife, by wearing the clothes she had packed in the suitcase she forgot the day she left us.

i will never forget, during the divorce i crashe don my parent couch when i found the red suitcase of hers, i immediately locked myself into the Apartments only bathroom. i was so nervous with what i was about to do, i had forgotten this mere crossdress fetish… now it resurged, in my most sexually frustrating time.

Locked in the bathroom, shivers went through my entire body as i remembered what i was periodically doing all my puberty. DRESSING UP! JERKING OFF! FEARFUL of the humiliation i would face if someone, anyone caught me dressed as a horny submissive female. & there i was…

Putting on my ex-wives Brah, smelling her skin remembering wanting to be a girl. scared of the devastating humiliation id feel if my parents caught me with this madness!

Once the Brah was on, the panties followed & when i pulled them up & was fitting them to feel confortable i remembered, i remembered when my Transvestismus started, i remembered me dressing up as a girl over & over & over again during my lifetime.

thanks to my lifelong low self-loathing & general social anxiety where even the idea of being a girl was humiliating enough to blast me into a temper tantrum.

What specific humiliation was the trigger?

it wasn’t watching my, brandynette´s first porn vid online, nor the bad comments from other trans femes. it was after i already achieved Pornstar status when my old classmates invited me to the class of 2002 WhatsApp group.
unsuspecting i went on & on how well i was doing financially after the divorce, how i had my own studio apartment & earning from my first version of brandynette.com

as this was the first time i was talking to my ex-classmates all the humiliating bully moments came back to me, it was as if they hadn’t changed & where still the same asshole bullies of Highschool.

the question “don’t you have another name online?” hit like a lightning! then i realized what would happen if any of them saw my, brandynette´s Pornhub pornstar channel.

Well, FUUUCK! my whole body heats up from the blush, they already knew, they invited me to the WhatsApp specifically for the purpose! for the purpose of rubbing it in! & then seeing how i would react! Would i flee? would i submit? would i cry? or better yet go aggro ranting bashing all around me showing my embarrassment?

NOPE! nothing of that happend!

Brandynette in her defeated ego, with no drop of self-respect left as she had lost face to her bullies, she does something absolutely insane! SHE BRAGS ABOUT IT!
she brags & brags not in any normal kind of brag where one doesn’t believe its own bullshit, naaa! nope! nahanini!
she goes all out & brags with the ego of 1000 universes! brandynette was meant to be a pornstar! she managed to overcome a shitty marriage, get off the couch of her parents, build a website & get constant Monthly payments providing her with more money any of my classmates could earn in a year!
Brandynette also gives the best blowjobs & has the tightest ass, etc cuss the rest is history, my history & my reason to be talking about the empowering aspect of facing a humiliating situation & mastering it by leaning on oneself to get the tools & resources necessary to be successful in anything you adopt

humiliation a oportunity to seise power over your own ego

Now let’s hear it from Wendy Sachs: “Embarrassment is something that we bring upon ourselves & we can often joke about it later; Butt Humiliation is brought upon us by others. fundamentally humiliation is a loss of our pride & our dignity.”

Wendy Sachs is a master of the career pivot. She is the author of the critically acclaimed Fearless and Free: How Smart Women Pivot and Relaunch their Careers. An Emmy-award winning TV news producer, Wendy has worked at Dateline NBC, Fox and CNN. She was also a Capitol Hill press secretary, public relations executive, CNN contributor and editor-in-chief of Care.com. And in a more random move, Wendy worked as the on-air spokesperson for Trip Advisor. A frequent speaker, Wendy has written about work/life balance and women’s issues for multiple publications and appeared on dozens of radio, podcasts and TV shows including the TODAY show, Good Morning America, Fox, MSNBC and CNN’s Headline News. Wendy is also the author of the working mom’s bible on work/life balance, How She Really Does It: Secrets of Successful Stay-at-Work Moms. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

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